Many young Christians are told by their parents, not to date non-Christians. Some of us blindly obey, while others believe it to be a different belief between generations. So are we told not to date unbelievers as an act of control by our parents? Or is there actually a Biblical basis for this belief?
Should Christians date non-Christians? No, Christians shouldn’t date non-Christians. Christians should even begin to consider dating non-Christians because we are not to marry unbelievers. This is supported by 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Technically, it’s non a sin to date a non-believer, but it is not wise.
Maybe you found a cute unbeliever who you think is different than others or might come to know Christ through you. This post will help you work through this situation and choose God over the desires of your flesh.
Can Christians Date Non-Christians?
Dating non-Christians has been a topic of discussion between Christians for quite some time. It might seem difficult to fathom, but I’m sure this something your parents discussed with their friends too.
This is a debatable discussion between Christians because there are two main differing views. One view is that is okay to date a non-Christian, while others believe that you should never date an unbeliever.
Before going with your gut, read the following two views to see which one has a stronger Biblical foundation.
It’s Okay To Date Non-Christians
Some Christians believe that it is okay to be a Christian and date someone who does not believe in God. This view is justified by the fact that dating is not marriage, so it’s fine.
Dating can be viewed as being something to do for fun and to bring joy into your life.
Those who side with this view also see dating unbelievers as a mission opportunity. It’s a way to bring others to Christ and help Him be known. There’s no harm in dating to convert right? Wrong.
Neither of these is supported by the Bible. Though dating can seem innocent and as something to pass your time, this is a view of the world.
Dating matters and it is not something that we should use as a form of ministry.
You Shouldn’t Date Non-Christians
The opposing viewpoint for dating non-Christians is that you shouldn’t. This view may come off to you as old-fashioned or maybe not make sense. However, it is supported by scripture.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”2 Corinthians 6:14-18
Though this verse is in regards to marriage, it also applies to the dating life of believers. We are not at any point to be unequally yoked.
This is not because we are better than unbelievers. It’s because being with someone who doesn’t share your beliefs is unhealthy for both sides.
We are a temple for the one true God who lives within us. In Biblical times temples were to remain clean and only worship one God. We are to do the same in our lives. We are still to make him known to everyone and love everyone.
However, letting what they believe into our lives will bring uncleanliness into our life.
This is what happens when you date an unbeliever. Though you may be firm in your beliefs, this person is still a huge part of your life.
What they believe and do will still flow into your life and have an impact on you.
This viewpoint is not centered around the idea that believers are better than non-believers. It’s centered around the fact that this is a command given to us by God’s living world.
Dating an unbeliever is not only unhealthy, but it also does not align with the true purpose behind dating.
Why Who You Date Matters
So what is the purpose behind dating? Though the Bible does not say much about dating, because it wasn’t a thing in Biblical times, we know that the reason for a man and woman to come together is because of marriage.
The purpose behind dating: to see whether or not the person we’re with is the one we should marry.
When we date for marriage we are seeing if our boyfriend/girlfriend is someone who is going to bring us closer to Christ. Marriage is not just for fun and getting to grow too close to someone who brings you joy.
Yes, this is a benefit, but the purpose of marriage is to glorify Christ through serving the Lord with your spouse. Dating should have this same purpose.
If you date an unbeliever you will not be able to achieve this because they will have a different idea for dating.
Theirs will be rooted in the world and yours will be in the Lord.
Now you may be thinking “I’m too young to get married, so it’s fine to date who I want right?” My question for you is then why are you dating? Take some time to truly evaluate your purpose and reason behind dating.
Dating allows another person into your life. Dating is not serious for everyone and can be just for fun, but this has consequences. You’re allowing someone else into your life.
You may think “well I only one be with them for a little bit” or “They make me so happy”.
Beloved if this is you then you are being impacted by the world. I don’t say this to judge you, but rather because my heart aches for you.
I was there once. Dating to fit in, find joy, to feel loved, or simply because the guy was cute.
Every rejection, every fight, every relationship brought me hurt and left me empty.
I want you to reach into your heart and find why you’re dating just to date. After you discover it, go to the Lord with the hope that He alone satisfies your soul.
This will help open your eyes even more to why you shouldn’t date unbelievers and push you to find another way to love them.
But What If They’re Considering Christianity?
Now we’ve all been in a situation where we like someone who has not yet come to the faith, says that they’re willing to go to church for you, or says that they love Jesus but it’s not reflected in their life. These situations can be difficult, but there’s the same answer for one.
You should not be the reason for someone’s faith because you are not their savior.
It can be easy to take up unbelievers as a “project” especially if they’re attractive, but it’s not healthy to have this viewpoint. This is different from sharing the gospel with others like we’re called to do.
When feelings are involved it’s easy for you to becomes someone’s reason instead of God. The lines get blurry and they end up pursuing Christ to impress you.
You become the foundation for their faith and this is a toxic situation. When you fail they’ll doubt God. When something goes wrong they’ll doubt why God didn’t come through.
When you and your significant other are in different places in your walk with Christ one of the following is bound to happen. Either you will end up dragging them behind you as you move forward in your walk or they will pull you behind or cause you stay stagnate as they stay behind.
When we are seeking someone instead of Christ, we depend on each other instead. This only causes us to get hurt because humans make mistakes, but God never does.
How Dating A Christian Negatively Impacts Non-Believers
The last thing I want is for you to read this article and think that dating someone who shares different beliefs is only unhealthy for unbelievers. It’s bad for both sides.
Non-Christians will struggle and be hurt when they date an unbeliever because they won’t understand the other’s beliefs.
They won’t get why going to church is so important or other beliefs held by their Christian boyfriend/girlfriend. They won’t understand because they may be unaware of the Biblical reason behind it or might just find the Bible as an unimportant source.
This will cause them to end up blaming themselves or even cause them to dive deeper into God’s word. Though there may be benefits, the effects cause it to not be worth it. Either way, one side will end up getting hurt.
Loved one please consider who you date based on who they are, not just how they look. Seek your Heavenly Father before you make a decision and know that He is the only way to salvation.