Jokes are a great way to keep kids laughing and engaged. If you’ve ever needed a way to lighten a subject with a quick joke, but you’re at a loss for words, I have your back.
I am going to be giving you 45 Christian jokes that I have seen, heard, or made up. They will all be on one list. For your convenience, I have organized them into sections that pertain to certain biblical subjects for ease. They are corny but hilarious. So here are 45 Christian jokes for your kids’ joking needs:
Original Jokes:
I took a crack at making up some original jokes and asked some friends to make some jokes up to, they are pretty corny but made me laugh, and I hope you and your kids will laugh too. I do encourage you to create your own jokes too. It was so fun!
Reading these may make you cringe, but your kids might find them funny. You can be creative and make your own jokes too; just try. Here is what I have for you.
1. There was a creative kid named Isaiah.
He liked making things. One day he was trying to make wings so that he could fly. When his mom saw him trying to fly, she asked him why he wanted to fly so badly. His answer was, “The Bible says we will soar with wings like eagles.” (Isaiah 40:31)
2. Moses was ready to leave the store and couldn’t find the way out.
When he did, he was so excited and shouted, “I can finally Exodus place!” (Exit this place).
3. Mount Sinai is the tallest mountain in the Bible.
Mount Sinai likes to enter height competitions. When Mount Sinai goes to these competitions it sings the song, “Ain’t no mountain high enough.”
4. Q: Why were the people afraid to worship the Lord?
A: Because they thought we said “warship.”
5. Q: What did the doctor say to the kid?
A: Let me take a Luke.
6. Q: Where did Jesus go to get a snack?
A: Mount Olive
7. Q: What is the courts favorite book of the Bible?
A: Judges
8. Q: Which Bible character was the best musician?
A: Samson, he brought the house down!
9. Q: How do pastor’s like their orange juice?
A: With pulp-it.
10. Q: What’s a dentist’s favorite hymn?
A: “Crown Him with many crowns.”
11. Q: What’s a misionaries favorite car?
A: A convertible
12. Q: What’s a mathmaticians favorite book of the Bible?
A: Numbers
13. Q: What did Mary say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: “Oh baby.”
14. Q: What’s Elisha’s favorite animal?
A: She bears
15. Q: Where in the Bible do we find evidence that Jesus egged people?
A: Matthew 11:29-30; He says, “Take my yoke upon you.”
16. Q: What car does Jesus drive?
A: A Jeep, because the clouds are bumpy and He needs four-wheel drive.
17. Q: How does Moses make tea?
A: He-brews it!
18. Q: How do you know that all atoms are Catholic?
A: They have mass
19. Have you heard how Jonah got to Ninevah?
Whale…..let me tell ya!
20. You hear about Samson?
That dude was outta sight!
21. Did you know Jael was the best judge?
She really ‘nailed it.’
22. Q: What did Daniel tell his real estate agent?
A: “I’d like a house without a den.”
23. Q: Why can’t Jesus wear necklaces?
A: Because He breaks every chain.
24. Q: What is a Christians favorite song to play in the car?
A: “Jesus take the wheel.”
25. Q: What did the Jew say to the Gentile?
A: “Jewish you were a Jew.”
26. Q: What is Adam’s favorite time of day?
A: Eve-ning
27. Q: What did Joseph say to Mary?
A: “Will you myrrh-y me?
28. Q: What did Sarai say to Abram when they were cooking Christmas dinner?
A: “Abram, the ham!”
29. Q: What do the disciples say when they sneeze?
A: Matthew!!!! (Mat-thew, like achoo)
30. Q: What did God say to Jesus?
A: “Jesus, I am your father.” (Add a couple of Darth Vader sounds and the kids will love it)
Noah And The Ark Jokes:
Here are two jokes about Noah and the Ark. One is a silly animal joke and the other is a joke pertaining specifically to Noah and the ark. You have to have two people to read these jokes. Take a look!
31. Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: The cheetah
Jokes for Kids
32. Q: Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A: Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Adam and Eve jokes:
What could be better than some humor about the first couple in the Bible? I can’t think of anything better. Take a look at these jokes, you’ll laugh so hard your ribs will hurt.
33. Q: Why did Adam and Eve do math every day?
A: They were told to be fruitful and multiply.
Parade
34. Q: Who was the fastest runner in the race?
A: Adam, he was the first in the human race.
Church leaders
35. Q: What is Eve’s favorite food to eat?
A: Ribs
Relevant children’s ministry
Moses and the Israelites jokes:
These are some light-hearted jokes meant to make you cackle. Read them to your kids for a quick laugh together. Sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh.
You better get reading before you break a commandment!
36. Q: Which character in the Bible is the worst lawbreaker?
A: Moses, he broke all 10 commandments at once.
Relevant children’s ministry
37. Q: Why couldn’t the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land?
A: Because it was not the pinky Promised Land.
Parade
Miscellaneous Jokes:
From Boaz to Samson to Jonah, there were quite a few jokes here that would not fall under one specific branch but were still super funny. How could I not add them to the mix?
I hope you and your kids find these just as “punny” as I did. Let us get right into it!
38. Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham, he knew a Lot
Church leaders
39. Q: Who do mice pray to?
A: Cheesus
Jokes for Kids
40. Q: Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
A: Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Margaret Feinberg
41. Q: Where was Solomon’s temple located?
A: On the side of his head.
Margaret Feinberg
42. Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he was married?
A: He was Ruth-less
Church leaders
43. Q: What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school?
A: “I am supposed to walk by faith.”
Parade
44. Q: Why wasn’t Jesus allowed in jewelry stores?
A: The workers were afraid that He would break every chain.
Relevant children’s ministry
45. “Jesus said to John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” -He came fifth and received a toaster.”
Margaret Feinberg
Go tell these jokes to a kid or your kids and laugh together. I hope this made your day lighter and brought some comedy into your day. I hope these jokes were helpful and brought lots of laughs.